Some nights are different: Too nervous to knit
Don't get me wrong--I took my knitting. It's just that, after 3 weeks of illness, injury and more illness, I was so nervous for my dancer as she prepared to take the stage for her senior year performance with Classical Ballet Centre last night, that I couldn't knit for fear that she wouldn't be up to the task. I need not have worried. The professionalism and grace that I have come to see in her every day were there in abundance. She danced the role of the Lilac Fairy in Sleeping Beauty and showed us what hard work and perseverance look like in a tutu.
photo by Jairy Hunter Photography
Shot taken in rehearsal by her sweet friend Alexandra.
I've written about my daughter before, and many of you have met her over the years as well. This post isn't really about her.
This morning I took a pic of the actual knitting I accomplished last night on the way to the theater for the performance. It's a swatch for a new sock pattern, a pattern I honestly envisioned casting on and placidly knitting while waiting for the curtain to go up. I had with me everything I would need: double pointed-needles, yarn, stitch markers, scissors, etc. In fact, instead of taking the cute little handbag that I love, I took a larger bag (I love it, too, but it's not little), in order to have room to pack my knitting. I was prepared to fend off nerves with the soothing repetition of even stitches and the rhythm of the needles.
Who was I kidding?
I couldn't sit still to knit. I found it was better to go back and forth to the entrance to look for people we knew who were coming to the performance. I burned off the nerves through movement. My feet hate me today because of it, but I'm not upset by my lack of follow-through. Sometimes you just have to make adjustments mid-course.
Despite my great plan, as I knit the swatch I was not feeling calm and creative, so when I looked at the few rows I'd managed, I thought, I have NO idea why I don't like this. No problem, though. I could surely cast on and knit the ribbing of the cuff before I had to commit to the actual sock pattern. Riiiiiight....
Yeah, I don't see any stitches cast on those needles either.
All's well that ends well, however: Josie danced beautifully, we were surrounded by the support of loving friends and family, I burned a few extra calories going up and down the steps and I have a shiny new project to work on today.
Just knowing my knitting was there in my bag was comforting, too. Take your knitting. Take it even if it never sees the light of day...or the light of the theater...